If you are in the can’t-get-off-the-couch stage of feeling shitty, I suggest you first read another post of mine: How To Feel A Little Less Shitty Today.
Welcome! Perhaps you’ve taken a shower or have gotten dressed today, but you still can’t quite do that productive thing (or seven) that you need to do. I’ve been in this place many times, and one thing I can tell you is
Negative Self-Talk Doesn’t Help
If you’re like me, you probably beat up on yourself often, perhaps without realizing it. Great, I took a shower today. I still haven’t done x, y, or z. Meanwhile Jane on Facebook has cleaned her entire house, taken her kids to a dozen activities, and just baked a stomach growl-inducing pie.
This type of self-talk is convincing because it’s all true. The only productive thing you may have done today is take a shower. Jane of FB has really done all these things, perhaps with ease. However, here’s something that’s also true: “You don’t always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it too.” (Anne Lamott)
Stop chopping at yourself. It isn’t helping. Instead, try truthfully acknowledging any progress you have made. As awkward as it sounds, say to yourself: I just took a shower. That is one small productive thing. Full stop. End there. No “but’s”.
Keep doing this any time you do anything productive: loading the dishwasher, feeding a pet, texting a friend, kissing your person. Slowly, your self-hate will blossom into…self-okayness. It might take a while for us to get to self-love, if we ever get there. And that’s okay, too.
Then, tackle one, just one, of the things you have to do today. Maybe that gives you the pride or confidence to do another. Maybe you can only do one. Either way, acknowledge the progress you made. You just had a (somewhat) productive day.
But how to keep it going? How to improve your self-discipline so you can achieve a specific goal? How to commit to good habits? Before you get down on yourself for having shitty habits or for not being able to change your habits, know that 1,600 years ago, Saint Augustine was having the exact same problem. One of the most respected thinkers in Christianity wrote not about sin, primarily, but about bad habits. (In Augustine’s case, this was a predilection for Colosseum fights and the theater, which is kind of adorable.)
Augustine knew, and I suspect you know too, that habits are one of the hardest things to change. I think this is because they require a daily commitment to something that at first feels unnatural. And if it feels unnatural, it feels like it’s not for us. To that, I can confidently say “Bullshit!” Habits are formed by daily practice. Therefore, any habit you adopt will become your habit.
But how do we force ourselves to do the things that we secretly want to do or that we need to do to be happier and healthier human beings?
There are many great suggestions floating around the interwebs. But none have hit me in the gut so simply and truly as this humble comment by an anonymous redditor: NO MORE ZERO DAYS.
Read his comment. It’s so spot on, and he has other great suggestions. But the simple takeaway is even 1 minute of doing is progress.
This means that every day can be a productive day. Even the days when you feel lower than a depressed cockroach. Bam, you do 1 minute of writing, or pushups, or piano-playing. You had a non-zero day! Enough non-zero days gives you practice at being productive, which makes it easier to keep doing it.
I’ve modified Ryan’s method a bit. I call it 20–20–20.
20 minutes + 20 minutes + 20 minutes = 60 minutes
1 hour of productivity out of the 14–18 I am likely to be awake for the day.
I chose 3 areas of my life that I want/need to be productive in. These are tasks that I avoid like fire ants: grading, writing, cleaning.
I aim to spend 20 minutes today on each activity. That’s it.
I don’t always succeed. Some days I only do 20 minutes of grading and writing, but not cleaning. Other days, I do more than 20 minutes of grading and cleaning, but no writing. Too often, I procrastinate from grading by cleaning or writing, since it helps me get my 20–20–20, which I’m sure my students don’t appreciate. But, you know what?
I’m writing more. I’m cleaning more. And I’m grading more.
And every day, no matter what I end up using the time for, I am a little bit productive. Every day, I get a little closer to my goals. Every day is a NON-ZERO DAY. No matter how shitty I feel.
